New Millenium, New "Old Guy Rant":grumpy:


"The youth of today. Hrumph! You've all got it soooo

easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today ... you don't know how good you've

got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The ... Internet.

If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library

and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no eeeeee - mail! We had to actually write

somebody a letter .... with a pen and paper!

Then you had to walk all the way across the street and

put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no EEEEEEEMMMMMMPPPEEEEEEE 3's or Napsters!

If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store

and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off

the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and

messed it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone

and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't

have fancy Caller IIIDEEEE either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who

it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your

dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it

up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sooooony Plaaayyyyy Staaaation

video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With

games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked!

Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your I-maa-gii-nnaaaaaation!

And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder

and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as staaadium

seating! All the seats were the same height!! If a tall guy or some old broad

With a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like Fifteen

channels and there was no .... ooooonscreen meeeenuuuu and no remote control! You

had to use a little book called a TeeeeVeeee Guide to find out what was on!

WE were lost when it came to channel surfing! You had to get up off

your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was

no ........ Caaaartooooooooon Neeetwoooork either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday

Morning! Do you hear what I'm saying!?!

We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons!!

You spoiled little bastards. We didn't have .....miiiicrowaaaaves, if we

wanted to heat something up ... we had to use the stove or go build

a frigging fire .. imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had

to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the

stove forever like an idiot!! That's exactly what I'm talking

about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!"

Or two minutes back in 1970!"

Or one minute back in 1960!"